Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's a Man Flood!

Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.

Have you checked out the Worst Pickup Lines at the bottom of the page?

The above nugget, a little gem, popped up this morning.

I'd like to happily report that since I have made a steadfast rule to not give my phone number out come hell or high water, I have been virtually flooded with male companionship requests.

There's the barbecuing grandfather 25 miles away who would like to take me to dinner tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. Or perhaps the one after that. And he'd like me to call him. Anytime. Day or night.

Then we've got the math teacher who promises not to get pissed off if I beat him at Boggle. Which you know I will. But if he gives me a 6th grade pre-algebra problem, I'm screwed. Not literally.

There's also the guy that looks like my Dad. I just can't even make jokes about that. But I asked him if it was alright with him if I set him up with one of my friends (if I can think of anyone who'd like to date my dad besides my mom).

This morning, I heard from a wildlife biologist who called me an "attractive red head." I have no idea where he got that impression. Maybe he's corresponding with so many women that he's getting us mixed up. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

And there's my twin brother, separated at birth, who said, "People who don't like classical music usually haven't spent any time listening to it. Fuck 'em. Bach fucking rocks." Right on, brother! He also said, "Thank God for punk rock, " and apparently spent as much time in the principal's office as I did growing up. I want to marry this man. Ok, I take that back. Immediately. I take it back. You never heard that out of my mouth. But I can't wait to meet him halfway in between here and there.

And of course there's my detective, who popped into my office yesterday. The only one of these men I've actually met and shared a meal with (other than a late night snack at the keyboard). He asked what I was up to next weekend. I said, "Nuthin. But I'm not giving you my number. You know. The jinx."
He said, "I know where to find you."
Okay, then.