Saturday, April 5, 2008

Man Hunter


My Attempt At Catching The Elusive Wild Canadian Boar

One night, in a fit of frustration while I was on a month long holding pattern to see if some guy I kissed was ever going to call me back, I perused through the Match.Com profiles in my zip code. I was looking for a guy with a college degree who doesn't smoke (much), is somewhere between middle of the road and liberal in his political leanings, and doesn't own a bible.
I didn't think I was asking for much.

But within 20 miles of my zip code, Match.Com gave me a grand total of 3 men. One peaked my interest. I stored him away in my mental cache.
Then I checked out Yahoo! Personals. Of the 2 men that matched me, one was the same guy from Match.Com.

We had a lot of similarities.
Both separated. With kids. Gainfully Employed. Love to laugh. Love live entertainment and movies. He's Canadian. I lived in Alaska once. Close enough.
And here's the thing: he said he liked women who weren't afraid to show their wild side. Well, that's me.
So I winked at him. Bold. My first wink.
Nuthin'. No response.
I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that since the computers that sort out who's right for whom had twice come up with "Loves to Laugh," as the guy for me, that I'd better just go for it. What did I have to lose?
I gave Yahoo Personals my credit card number so I could have the luxury of communicating with him, and then emailed him. Told him the Cyber Gods thought we'd have chemistry. We didn't want to make them angry, did we?
He emailed me back!
We emailed back & forth a few times on Thursday. I offered up a couple of possibilities to meet in person. Afternoon at the dog park. Pint night at the pub. Starbucks on the corner. He said he'd meet me now if it wasn't so late. Friday was out, he had a hunting education class with the kids. How about Saturday? I couldn't Saturday, but I said I had the entire next week open and available, and (gulp) decided to give him my phone number.
And then he disappeared. Never heard from him again.

Is that some kind of Canadian mating ritual? Is he testing out my hunting skills? Wants to see just how wild my wild side is? Sorry. My wild side does not include putting on camo, smudging my face and setting up a duck blind out in Central Valley to hunt you down. I'd send my dog out for you, but it's hard to pick up a scent over the internet.

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